There are no stupid questions...

Monday brings a fresh array of questions to ye old reference desk. It's only 11:00 and I've had the following:
-I have this cough. Do you know what it is?
-Do I need to file my income taxes if I'm retired?
-I want books that tell me why a filmmaker needs to be responsible. (When I asked for clarification on this, I got the blank stare. When I asked if she meant if the filmmaker should be responsible if a person does something after seeing it in a movie, she said yes. When I searched for filmmakers and social responsibility and gave her an article on it, she told me that wasn't what she wanted. Hit repeat, play again. Circular logic that goes no where. Joy).
-Why are all of your handwriting books missing? I like handwriting books. (When I offered to order them for her, she rolled her eyes and walked away).
-When asking for a computer reservation and I say that the next hour is at one, why are you bartering with me to get a time sooner? It's booked. I can't just go deleting reservations.
-How do I file my state income taxes? If I file a form 1040gsfd, do I need to file a 1040 state gfsd, or would I get more money back if I filed a form 1040grsd.
-Someone left a 40 of beer in the bathroom